Best Invention of All Time

When it comes to the best invention of all time, it would be hard to pick the top one. Even if you take medical advances out of the running, there’s still electricity, the light bulb, the telephone, cars, airplanes, television,sewing machines, computers, the internet, and the list goes on and on. Despite all the choices, I know what would be at the top of my list.

It was invented before I was born. I grew up with one in my childhood home. There was a dry spell when I left home for college and began my young adult life. I didn’t own this invention, although I had access to many. That continued until well after I was married, and finally ended when I was on the threshold of motherhood.

I don’t think I went so far as crying tears of joy, but it did feel as if the clouds parted and a heavenly beam of sunlight shone down upon my driveway when the delivery truck door rumbled open, and a shiny, new washing machine and dryer were dollied down the ramp.

At last, my days of hoarding quarters, and jockeying for the best washing machines and dryers at the Laundromat were over. No more cautiously inspecting industrial washing machines for traces of animal fur and miscellaneous leftover socks before adding my own laundry. No more cleaning other people’s lint from dryers that had three settings in theory, but only one in reality: fry your clothes to a crisp. No more standing guard over my clothes as they spun and tumbled.

My first washer and dryer were Kenmore’s from Sears. They came in the nick of time to wash and dry loads of baby clothes and diapers. They also cleaned the red dirt of Kapaa, Kauai from John’s clothes when he worked on fruit fly projects in the field. We shipped them with us to Puyallup when we moved.

Later, when we moved again, this time to a bigger house, the buyers of our smaller house bargained for my Kenmore’s. I balked, but John convinced me to let them have my precious washer and dryer. By then they were eleven years old. They would be two less heavy items to move.  

We replaced them with a GE Profile washer and dryer. This set of work horses kept us in clean baseball, Boy Scout, Girl Scout, band and orchestra uniforms. They handled all the extra sheets and towels from years of sleepovers and out-of-town visitors.

Eventually the years wore them out. We had to replace a control panel the day before overnight guests arrived. About once a year, a puddle would appear on the floor. We’d repair a leaky drain hose under the tub.

Then the 12-year-old dryer started making a scraping squeal as the drum turned. The clothes still dried, so I ignored the noise. It took a few months, but then the screeching got so bad I couldn’t stay in the laundry room when it was on.

One night, with two loads of very wet laundry, I finally faced the fact that my dryer was done. There I was, at 9:00 p.m., sitting in a Laundromat once again, searching my wallet for quarters. I was trapped with a harried mother who was scolding her four-year-old nonstop for being a four-year-old with nothing to do.

I limped through the next week stringing clotheslines in the laundry room and garage, and relying on the kindness of a friend who let me use her dryer for jeans and towels. When the kids and their bags and hampers full of laundry came home from college on Spring Break, I would’ve thrown in the towel, but there was no room left on the clotheslines.   

We went big appliance shopping. My “research” consisted of vaguely remembering that Maytag’s weren’t that great anymore, and Sarah reminding me from dorm experience that once you start a load in a front loading machine, you can’t add more clothes to it. I’d also heard somewhere that front loaders always have a little bit of water left in them that starts to smell moldy. Three stores and a few hours later, we had our winners: an LG top loading washer (WT5001C) and its matching dryer.

I was working when they were delivered, so I missed the beam of light moment as well as the sad farewell to my old machines. The kids waited for me to run the inaugural load.

On the way home I stopped to buy special HE detergent. Then, I had to study the manuals because these machines are computerized. No more clicking push/pull dials, instead these light up quietly as they’re turned. Once the laundry is loaded, this machine starts weighing and shimmying to balance the load! Then it fills the tub with exactly how much water is needed.

Because there is no agitator in the center, this washer has a huge capacity. Washing comforters and sleeping bags will be a breeze. My family’s favorite feature is that the washer’s lid is a window. They’d be embarrassed to admit it, but at various times, they’ve joined me mesmerized, watching the laundry sloshing around through the window. You’d think we were country bumpkins who’d never seen “such a fancy dad-burned thang!”

The dryer also has a window (kind of like those Laundromat dryers). Both the washer and dryer countdown the time left to complete the load so, I don’t have to guesstimate when to switch loads, or listen through the laundry chute to see if either machine’s still running.

If something goes wrong with either machine, they’re both equipped with “Smartdiagnosis.” That means I’d call LG, hold the phone up to the power button on the machine, and it would “talk” to LG in FAX language for 15 seconds, “telling” them what was wrong. I won’t miss making sound effects to try to imitate what the broken machine sounds like.

               Quiet and efficient, this washer is so high-tech that every time I load it, I half expect a robot voice to tell me something like, “Caution: there is a red sock in with your whites.”

Washer and dryer, or beating your clothes on river rocks then throwing them on bushes to dry? Washer and dryer---best inventions hands down! By the way, LG is the brand name of the washer and dryer that we bought. LG stands for “Life’s good!”

Laura Keolanui Stark is starring in her own soap opera, “As the Laundry Churns.” She can be reached at stark.laura.k@gmail.com.