Halloween Obituary

            Since I was old enough to grip a bag full of candy, Halloween has been my favorite holiday. The thrill of dressing up and assuming another personality coupled with all the free candy I could gather and potentially eat put it at the top of my list. Things were pretty simple then. Cut holes in an old sheet to be a ghost. Double bag two brown paper bags for added strength, or grab a pillow case and I was set.

            Sometimes the costumes were more elaborate, but they were always fun to put together. A gypsy costume meant I could dig through my mother’s costume jewelry and scarves. My sister’s hula girl costume required coming up with a plan to keep her midriff warm. My brother always favored the mask over a painted face, which meant that after he tripped a few times, he wore it tipped up on top of his head until we got to a door.

There was usually a battle with my parents over how much dinner we had to eat. And of course, they wanted us to be warm and dry, but we wanted to show off our costumes. There were negotiations about how late we could stay out, and instructions about crossing streets safely. After enduring all this, we’d finally swarm out over the neighborhood like bats flying out of a cave.

With my kids, things were more complicated, and it seems to gets more complicated every year. We’ve become a nation that sure knows how to suck the fun out of almost everything. My husband and I went trick or treating with our kids until my son was almost in sixth grade. My parents sent us out alone, with me the oldest, “in charge,” when I was in third grade. My kids weren’t allowed to eat any candy until they got home and we checked it (and I stole all the Snickers bars). My brother, sister, and I ate and traded as we went.

Despite our reckless behavior all those years ago, I only remember two bad things ever happening. Once my sister stood on the wrong side of a screen door and got swept off the porch into some bushes. Of course, her candy also went flying and kids were diving on it like a piñata had just been cracked open. I shooed them away before too much was stolen.

Another time, after we ran terrified out of a haunted house, down three flights of stairs and out into a humid Panamanian night, my brother and I looked around and discovered that my little sister (the victim again) was so scared she didn’t run. We conquered our fear, went back, and rescued her from a very apologetic monster dad and witch mom. She got some extra candy out of that.

I feel bad for kids today. Adults have ruined Halloween. It can’t be celebrated at school. Costumes have to be appropriate. Some people think Halloween is Satan worshiping. Kids are corralled indoors for supervised “harvest festivals.” If they get candy, it has to be wrapped. Nobody gives out homemade popcorn balls or candy apples anymore because they know they’ll just be thrown away. There are curfews now. Spontaneity is dead. Halloween has been over-thought. That’s the scariest, no saddest, thing of all. 
Happy Halloweenie!

Suzie "lovin'" her Halloween costume!

Laura Keolanui Stark is hoarding Snickers bars up on South Hill, WA. She can be reached at lkstark@yahoo.com.  (This column was originally written in October 2009.)