Tricks or Treats?

          There’s something about me that makes some people uncomfortable. I hear, “You’re having way too much fun,” a lot.

In quilting classes before class even starts, I’ve had people make that comment because I’m sitting with friends talking, and dare I say it, laughing! One teacher separated me and my friend Carol before we even sat down. I guess our crime was showing up together with smiles on our faces.

       I went for a job interview once to be a teaching assistant. I thought the panel interview with two teachers and the principal was going well. The teacher that I would be working with asked me how I’d get a group of first graders who were struggling more engaged in learning. I answered that I’d try to make learning fun with games and enthusiasm. My reasoning is that if you can set them up to enjoy learning in the first grade, it will be a good foundation for learning the rest of their lives.

        As the interview closed, we shook hands all around and I thanked them. I told them that I hoped to hear back from them, and turned to leave. That’s when one of the teachers said sarcastically, “Yeah, because we’re all about FUN here.” I knew they wouldn’t be calling me back.

         It made me very sad for her students, sadder too because it was the elementary school that my kids had attended. When I go back to that school every year for my reading assessment job, her first graders are always a glum bunch, well behaved, but very solemn as they march in. I wish I could bust them out of the jail that is the anti-fun teacher’s classroom, and I hope that they’ll get a better teacher for second grade.

           The latest reason why I must be reined in is that I had feathers put in my hair. The reactions are either: “Cool! I love it! Where did you get them put in?” or “Oh, you have feathers in your hair. Are those permanent?” with the face you make when something smells bad. It surprises me how uptight some people are.

         Halloween also seems to divide people into two groups: those who love it, and those who think it needs to be squashed. I’ve always been in the I-love-Halloween, bring on the costumes and candy group. It has always been my favorite holiday because it’s so much fun. There’s even “fun-sized” candy!

          However, after careful consideration, and under the influence of some stern feather disapproval, I decided that maybe I was too wild, too out of control. This year, unlike every other year in my memory, I would not dress up. I would be low key. I would grow up, and be an adult.

         So, this morning, in a serious very mood, I got ready for Zumba. I pulled my black workout pants on, and put my hair up in its usual workout pony tail. Then I went into my closet to find something, and a gray t-shirt with a black bat and the silhouette of a leafless black tree fell at my feet.

It was a sign! I ripped off my “grownup” t-shirt and pulled the spooky one on, then ran downstairs to a box that I keep costumes in. Cat ears headband, and black gloves with the fingertips cut off came flying out. Ran back upstairs to paint some heavy eyeliner on, and my batty cat costume was complete in 15 minutes.

Halloween Zumba at Vision Qwest.

At Zumba, there were a few other FUN people scattered on the dance floor in costumes. I got many compliments and high fives. I even managed to keep the cat ears on for the whole hour while I shook my tail (and hair) feathers.

Sorry boring party poopers, I just couldn’t do it. To all the other fun souls out there: Happy Halloween! Keep your costume about you, your candy close, and party on!

Laura Keolanui Stark will be handing out candy in her costume along with Suzie in her dachshund costume. She can be reached at stark.laura.k@gmail.com.

Halloween Obituary

            Since I was old enough to grip a bag full of candy, Halloween has been my favorite holiday. The thrill of dressing up and assuming another personality coupled with all the free candy I could gather and potentially eat put it at the top of my list. Things were pretty simple then. Cut holes in an old sheet to be a ghost. Double bag two brown paper bags for added strength, or grab a pillow case and I was set.

            Sometimes the costumes were more elaborate, but they were always fun to put together. A gypsy costume meant I could dig through my mother’s costume jewelry and scarves. My sister’s hula girl costume required coming up with a plan to keep her midriff warm. My brother always favored the mask over a painted face, which meant that after he tripped a few times, he wore it tipped up on top of his head until we got to a door.

There was usually a battle with my parents over how much dinner we had to eat. And of course, they wanted us to be warm and dry, but we wanted to show off our costumes. There were negotiations about how late we could stay out, and instructions about crossing streets safely. After enduring all this, we’d finally swarm out over the neighborhood like bats flying out of a cave.

With my kids, things were more complicated, and it seems to gets more complicated every year. We’ve become a nation that sure knows how to suck the fun out of almost everything. My husband and I went trick or treating with our kids until my son was almost in sixth grade. My parents sent us out alone, with me the oldest, “in charge,” when I was in third grade. My kids weren’t allowed to eat any candy until they got home and we checked it (and I stole all the Snickers bars). My brother, sister, and I ate and traded as we went.

Despite our reckless behavior all those years ago, I only remember two bad things ever happening. Once my sister stood on the wrong side of a screen door and got swept off the porch into some bushes. Of course, her candy also went flying and kids were diving on it like a piñata had just been cracked open. I shooed them away before too much was stolen.

Another time, after we ran terrified out of a haunted house, down three flights of stairs and out into a humid Panamanian night, my brother and I looked around and discovered that my little sister (the victim again) was so scared she didn’t run. We conquered our fear, went back, and rescued her from a very apologetic monster dad and witch mom. She got some extra candy out of that.

I feel bad for kids today. Adults have ruined Halloween. It can’t be celebrated at school. Costumes have to be appropriate. Some people think Halloween is Satan worshiping. Kids are corralled indoors for supervised “harvest festivals.” If they get candy, it has to be wrapped. Nobody gives out homemade popcorn balls or candy apples anymore because they know they’ll just be thrown away. There are curfews now. Spontaneity is dead. Halloween has been over-thought. That’s the scariest, no saddest, thing of all. 
Happy Halloweenie!

Suzie "lovin'" her Halloween costume!

Laura Keolanui Stark is hoarding Snickers bars up on South Hill, WA. She can be reached at lkstark@yahoo.com.  (This column was originally written in October 2009.)