What I Did All Day

My youngest will be leaving for college in less than a month, which is why I’ve been looking for a new job.

For the past 21 years, what I dreaded most about meeting people was when they inevitably asked, “Where do you work?” When I answered “I’m a stay-at-home mom,” they’d stammer, “Oh, what do you do all day?”

Nobody ever asked me that question when I had a full time, paying job. Some were just curious, but a lot asked because they thought being at home would be boring, or that I was lazy. It was implied that since I didn’t earn any money, what I did was worthless.

On the most basic level, I did the same things “working moms” do: cooking, cleaning, laundry, paying bills, running errands. Pretty routine stuff.

But there were almost as many things outside the routine. Volunteering in my kids’ classrooms, I helped 1^st graders count and graph pumpkin seeds, and taught 4^th graders their times tables. On my daughter’s first day of kindergarten, I held one of her classmates on my lap consoling her while she cried about her parents’ divorce. I listened to kids read. I marched in parades with Girl Scouts and Jr. High bands. I chaperoned dances, and demonstrated how to cook Chow Funn in Life Issues class. I made a cover for the marimba at Emerald Ridge, and drove to Ellensburg for Solo and Ensemble contests. I taught my kids how to drive, and also helped some of their friends learn.

I made sure my kids got off to school on time, shuttled them to sports, music and scouting activitites. I attended every school play, music program, music competition, soccer and baseball game, scout meeting, and almost every field trip that they were ever in.

When my kids came home from school every day, I listened to how their day went, what they learned, what social drama went on. As they grew, I listened to their presentations on science, history, and English, and I listened to their thoughts about the world. I listened to them practice, and compose music. I’ve offered advice on how to get along with others, and do the right thing even when it was hard. We’ve talked, argued, and laughed a lot! They’ve grown up into responsible people who know how to think. They are well-loved and respected, and I still get a kick out of them.

Under job skills on my resume I’ll list: extreme flexibility, calm under pressure, ability to multi-task. Excellent listening skills, some counseling experience. Able to deal with immediate, demanding or mundane tasks while keeping long-term goals in vision. Ability to prioritize. Self-motivated, strong initiative, team player. Good sense of humor. First aid capabilities. Valid driver’s license.

“What I did all day” didn’t earn a paycheck, it wasn’t terribly exciting or impressive, but it was important, worthwhile, and rewarding. Its value was priceless. I have no regrets.

Laura Keolanui Stark, a soon-to-be retired stay-at-home mom and freelance writer can be reached at lkstark@yahoo.com. (Originally published in The Herald, www.puyallupherald.com on 8/5/09.)